When Your Body Knows What Your Mind Doesn't
How are you doing, now that the new year frenzy is starting to calm down once again?
If you’re anything like me, you find yourself getting caught up in the buzz of a fresh start in January. Even though, for many of us, it’s the dead of winter - which means it is cold and dark, lending itself much more to curling up under a blanket, waiting for spring than to loud and hyperactive activity.
I, for one, find that my body is still in need of the kind of deep rest that can only come from hitting pause and slowing down.
This weekend I’m attending a workshop with Co-Active Training Institute. The workshop is called Process and it’s the fourth in a series of trainings for new coaches. I am assisting - which means I’m holding space, present with the students and present to the energy of the room.
It’s my first time being back in a Co-Active learning environment since I finished my coaching certification in 2019 and the air is thick with anticipation and transformation.
It is glorious to be back in that learning space and to remember how it felt the first time I sat there, awed, so many years ago. Yesterday I participated in one of the students coaching trios. We each took turns playing the Coach, client, and observer. It was a powerful way to experience coaching - both to receive coaching from someone who is just learning the skills and to observe what’s happening in the space between.
My coach helped me to connect with the feelings and sensations that arise when I think of being in stillness. And let me tell you, it was uncomfortable! I resisted it. I didn’t want to slow down. I didn’t want to feel still.
While I already knew that about myself from an intellectual perspective, I had a hard time connecting with why it mattered from a physical or spiritual perspective. As I told her about the feeling in my body - a fluttering just below the rib cage, a sense of excitement and anticipation - I suddenly became aware of another, less familiar, sensation. This time, it was in my head - and it felt HEAVY. Almost like a weighted blanket was draped above my head and shoulders, weighing me down. A feeling of exhaustion.
I suddenly became aware of the true impact of all that flurry of excited activity that I’ve become so accustomed to. For the first time I could recognize that being productive and bringing new ideas to life is also tiring. And I felt, physically, how tired I really am.
Despite having been told this many times before, from outside observers, it didn’t make sense because I couldn’t feel it myself.
But now I know.
And I am sitting with what that means for me right now - in my business and my life. What it means to truly rest. To allow myself to recover. The stories I’m making up about what rest and slowing down means to me (and about me).
I’m facing my own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs.
And at the same time that I’m recognizing this deeper, previously hidden truth, I am feeling extremely grateful. I am grateful to be back in a classroom where I get to experience, once again, the immense magic that is the Co-Active coaching model, I am grateful that I learned the power of coaching so many years ago, and I’m grateful that my full-time job is to help people live deeper, more fulfilling lives.
I will continue to explore what deeper rest means to me - and will connect my body and mind in a way I haven’t done before.
An invitation to you: what are you avoiding being with? What are you trying hard not to feel?
Hit reply and let me know what comes up for you.
With love,
Amanda
Amanda is a transformational coach and intuitive guide who helps women healers to connect, learn, and elevate their impact. She is the founder of the Women Healers Collective and hosts the Don’t Sep on the Bluebells podcast. Learn more about working together at www.amandaparker.co